dark pain

I close my eyes, it hurts.
I have to close my eyes to be able to handle it.
I can’t handle it.
It’s deep pain, it’s too deep…
I have never experienced it before…
Never.

My soul is in pain.
My heart is broken into pieces.
Those pieces won’t ever be part of the same heart.
That heart won’t ever be the same.

The essence is lost.
Gone.
Forever.

Tears running down my cheeks.
Polluted rivers  joining the darkness in the deepest frozen sea.

I close my eyes.
I try to look for the corner of my soul where the suffering begins.
Try to stop it, please.
I can’t stop it.
I can’t define where it hurts.
The blood running through my veins is stuck, suffering to find its way.
Even the air going through my nose hurts. It hurts while going in, trying to meet the painful parts in my deepest inside.
My throat is tide up, wrapping my heart.

It doesn’t matter what you do, where you go.
It comes with you.

I’m crying more than breathing, suffering more than existing.

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